"Oh, really?"

     As I stood in the Drive-thru of McDonalds, I tried to count the many times I had seen this guy come through. I couldn't even remember, but I had the strange suspicion that he was "stalking" me. He looked about my age, and he seemed nice, but can you really base your judgement on how many times they've come through your drive-thru window?
     Anyway, he came through again that day, and I was just as chipper as I usually am. After handing him the food, the guy turned to me, holding his receipt.
     "Uh, this receipt is missing a number," he said.
Huh? Number? What was he talking about?
     "I'm sorry," I responded, confused, " It's missing a number?"
He smiled big, pushing the receipt toward me.
     "Yours."
Hook,
Line,
Sinker.
     I had fallen for the corniest pick-up line in the book. *face palm* I felt like Homer Simpson,
"DOH!"

     I'm a skeptic, a non-believer in the phenomena "love at first sight". I don't believe in it and I think it's a bunch of hooey. (more on that later) So, this is an imaginary conversation with my "stalker" (or anyone really) on love and what it is. Note: This can be viewed from either a boy talking to a girl, or vice-versa.

"Oh, really?"
You say you'll love me and stand by my side,
You say you'll be with me till the end of all time,
You'll hold my hand tight through sickness and death,
You'll be there with me as I breathe my last breath.

Oh, really?

Love is not glamorous, it's not always fun,
There are going to be times when we just feel like we're done,
We'll want to throw in the towel, walk out on the game,
Vowing to never again utter your name.

Will you still love me when I feel like a grouch,
When I grumble and mumble and fumble and slouch,
When I think I know better (which I usually do)
From mechanics to bibles, from laundry to flu,
When I turn my head in the other direction,
Refusing to give you any kind of attention,
When I decide to stop talking and just raise my brow,
I'll give the impression, "I know more than thou."

Will you still love me when my tummy gets flabby,
When my face starts to wrinkle and look kind of shabby,
When my hairline recedes and I look like Bruce Willis,
And my skin gets rough and tough like a large Gavialis, (large Indian crocodile with a long snout)
My small, slender ankles might bloat up with Gout,
I'll not always be skinny, I could become stout,
I might grow addicted to Double-stuff cookies,
I'd stay home from church to eat and play hooky,

Will you still love me when we run out of stuff,
We might live on the streets, we won't have enough,
We'll run out of greenbacks or we could just be in debt,
Maybe I lost all of it in a bet,
It will be quite hard to provide for just two,
I don't want you to leave me, to tell me adieu,
We'd work through it together, we'd get it set right,
Money would never again be our plight.

Will you still love me when I make bad decisions,
When reality differs from what I'd envision,
It just doesn't work out, it just goes "kaboom",
The house will be filled with my despair and my gloom,
I will make mistakes, I know I'll mess up,
I'll just say stupid things, I just won't shut up,
I'll grow angry and yell, saying things that I shouldn't,
Telling you things that I normally wouldn't.


Will you still love me when we find out I'm dying,
You said you that you would, unless you were lying,
When we find that there never was ever a cure,
It will be a hardship we shall have to endure,
I'll grow weaker and colder as death will draw close,
It may be quite ugly, a lot more than most,
I could lose my mind, decide that I hate you,
I could never have met you, I'll be someone new.

Then it shall be upon me,
It will come by surprise,
Will you be with me then?
Will I hear your goodbyes?

Will you love me through sickness, love me through health,
Love me through poverty, love me through wealth,
Love me through all of the good times and bad,
Love me through happiness, love me through sad,
To have and to hold, to love and to honor,
'cause if you don't, my dad will make you a goner.

You say you'll love me all the days of my life,
You say you can't live without me as your wife,
You say you'll love me forever and ever,
To have me, you'd undertake any endeavor.

Oh, really?

People, Person of Interest and Fruit...

     "Hey Alex."
     I stopped and looked at him. He was washing dishes and I was headed out of the back room to get back to work. It had been a typical work day, filled with stress and laughter, and I was ready to wrap up and go home.
     "Yeah?" I replied, holding sauce packets, being careful not to drop any one the floor.
     "Do you ever get angry?"
I blinked, surprised.
     "Yes," I answered, trying not to sound rude, "Of course."
     "I was just wondering," he said, turning back to his dishes, "I just never really see you get angry. You are always smiling."
     "Well, I try to be happy," I continued, "But I do get angry. I just try not to let that show. Usually, if I'm angry, it's for selfish reasons, like someone isn't doing what I want them to do, or how I want them to do it. Anger is annoyance, and I try to avoid taking that out on other people. Unless someone is, for example, picking on one of my siblings. Then that's more of a righteous indignation rather than personal annoyance. Does that make sense?"
     "Yeah, I guess."

     When I was younger, my mom used to tell me that, if I was annoyed with someone, then I was being selfish. Of course, being an eleven year old, I kind of got the concept of what she was saying, but not really. It's become more clear, though, as I've gotten older.  We tend to get frustrated with things that don't go our way, or more specifically, people. Annoyance is irritation or vexation with someone or something; seeing something as a nuisance. It drives me bonkers when I hear parents or siblings complaining about younger children and their questions.




     "You're telling me you think your little, four year old brother is a nuisance because he's asking you about the solar system and how gravity works? He wants to know about the world and how it works and you thinks that a nuisance? It's getting in your way how? Oh, it distracted you from the new "Person of Interest" episode? That makes sense." *sarcasm* (POI is awesome though...just saying.)

   

      Now, if we are really peeved, our annoyance turns to outright anger and frustration and we take it out on the other person. I am ashamed because I just did this to my mom while watching the new Star Trek. It was near the end of the movie when ******* and ***** are ****** and they both ******.  (sorry, I didn't want to accidentally spoil anything)
It was a very intense scene and I was really into it. My mom, being the wonderful, funny woman that she is, jostled my arm and whispers,
     "What's going to happen? What's going to happen?"
     That's what I'm trying to find out! I turned to her and told her, very rudely, to stop it...and I didn't say please. She raised her eyebrow at me and let me finish the movie in peace, but I felt bad about it the rest of the night. I apologized for it later, but it didn't erase what I had already done. I laugh at it now, but I'm still feel guilty about that incident.
   
     We, as impatient human-beings, tend to live life on the fast lane. We get caught up in something that we are doing and we snap at anyone who we think "slows us down". We view other people as "distractions" and "vexations" that keep us from getting our "work" done. Other people's quirks might drive us bonkers. We lack tolerance of other peoples individuality. For example, there are plenty of people who get on my nerves at work because they have little "things" they do. But it's what makes them who they are. Why am I getting upset at that? It annoys ME. It doesn't make sense to ME. I get fed up with people's idiosyncrasies instead of stuff that really matters. I don't need to get angry when someone is arguing with me with me at work. Irked? Yes. Angry? No. I can still speak and react calmly...and I really have no reason not to.
     Why can't I react in love and patience and tolerance? Why can't I speak kindly to someone when they are arguing just for the sake of arguing? (you know who you are;)

 "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,  gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law" Galatians 5:22-23

     Love of people and their diversity. Not mushy, sappy, teenage romance love, but true love that can only come from the Father. Looks past their problems and understands the brokenness underneath...and forgives.

     Joy with their individuality and that no man is the same. (It would be really boring if we were)

     Peace that you cannot change that. You can take the tiger out of the forest, but you can't take the forest out of the tiger. You can't change people, so suck it up and move on.

     Patience with their differences. Compassion with them. Some people might be slower learners then you. Bear with them...quietly. Yelling in their ear to hurry up doesn't help. (I know the scripture says "patience" and the picture says "longsuffering" but be patient with me  ;P)

     Kindness ties into patience. Without it, we would be patient, but our heart would be overflowing with bitterness. Kindness is sort of the outward portrayal of love.

     Goodness to not only follow the fruits of the spirit, but believes in it, which helps change our whole attitude towards people and the world. (http://www.biblestudytools.com/dictionary/goodness/)

     Faithfulness is committed to goodness and Christ's everlasting love...therefore, it should be lived out daily.

     Gentleness is the equivalent of meekness. "We are to be free from self-exaltation and fully submitted to the will of God both in our relation to Him and in our relationships with others." (http://enrichmentjournal.ag.org/top/fruit8_gentleness.cfm)

     Self-control controlling our own emotions and feelings and tuning into God, serving him and others...even if others are a pain in the butt.

(All pictures were borrowed from the site selahforliving.com)

     All of these fit together, like a giant clock. All the cogs mesh together and work properly. We are told this is the "Fruit" of the spirit, not "Fruits"...meaning, they all are to be used together, not separate. You can't just have self-control, or gentleness, otherwise, they don't work. Unless all the pieces are used together, it doesn't work properly and you can't build your house. All part of a nutritional, balanced breakfast!

     I wish I never got angry, that I could enjoy everyone and everything and realize how awesome and beautiful life is. But I don't. I get caught up in stuff, stuff that doesn't really matter. I need to realize that these "distractions" are just God's way of saying, "slow down". Anger fills my life with stress and anxiety, while these little "vexations" are usually breathes of fresh air. Like when my little brother comes to me and asks if I can stop reading and play with him outside. When my sister asks me to help her feed our horse instead of watching TV. I get caught up in "my stuff" in "my world" and I isolate myself from my friends and family...from actually having a life.

     I don't always smile. I wish I did. Truth is, I'm not always patient (shocker!) but I do try and keep it under control. I don't take it out on other people, and I just try to enjoy them and their quirks.
     Make sense?

So excited!

     I am was a guest blogger! *squeals* I was hopping up and down when my paper was posted. I hope you guys enjoy it:
 http://heroicendeavors.wordpress.com/2013/03/23/guest-post-shut-up-and-suck-it-up/
     Also, don't forget to check out Hero's blog too while your there. This lovely young lady is such a fantastic writer and has a wonderful sense of humor.

"Favorite Song" is my favorite song.

 
          I love this song. And I don't just mean, "I enjoy listening to this song over and over." I mean, I really, really love this song.
     Jesus is my savior and I love him with every bone in my body, with every fiber of my being. I could sing his praises all day. Sometimes I want to. I love learning about him and thinking about him and how I can better serve him. Every time I think of him, I am filled with awe and wonder at his magnificence and power.
     I wish I could explain this love. It's mind consuming. I think about him everyday, and every time I do, I smile, because I know he loves me even more then I could possibly imagine.
     But my love is not blind. There are many things about God and his word that confuse me. Sometimes, I am discouraged because some questions I have been asked by non-believers about God and the bible, I am unable to answer. But my love for the Lord only pushes me to find the answer to these questions. I don't overlook these; I try and answer them to the best of my ability.
     God, help me to help others understand my love for you. You have given me eternal life, a gift I I didn't ask for or even deserve. You payed a debt you didn't owe. You gave your life for my wretched one so that I may be able to spend an eternity with you in heaven. Don't let me ever take that for granted.

     "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." John 3:16

     I know this verse is used a lot and you've probably read (or heard) this passage hundreds of times, I really never get tired of it. Look at it and meditate on it's words. God loved us. He doesn't just love Billy Graham, or the apostle Paul, or Mother Theresa, or the Queen of England...he loves us all. All of us equally. The King of the world, the one who created the universe, the One who made the immense Red Wood trees, the One who made the mighty roaring oceans, the One who made the stars and galaxies...loves me. Little me. He loved ME so much that he sent his Son to free us from sin. God knew very well His son would be beaten beyond recognition, he would be hated by men and finally left to die, not a peaceful, romantic death, but a painful, brutal one meant for the worst of criminals.
   
     I guess I never will fully comprehend what he did for me, but it still blows me away whenever I think about it; blown away by his love. I wish I could make others understand what I feel. This invigorating zeal for Christ and the furthering of his kingdom. But that's the beauty of it; you have to find it yourself. You appreciate it so much more. Then, you will understand true joy and peace.

     "The Lord hath done great things for us; whereof we are glad."

Psalm 126:3

Dragon

When anger rises, so do words,

They take flight like frightened birds,

The air goes hot and fire burns,

Something snaps and then you learn,

Inside every man and child,

Lurks a beast, dark and defiled.

 Dragon 1


Dragons never left our earth,

Each time we hate, our hearts give birth,

To scaly, rotten dragon beasts,

Who eat friendships for their feasts,

They sever families, destroy homes,

Cast out men to the unknown.

Spewing fireballs of wrath,

Glaring at each smile and laugh,

Roaring at each terrified soul,

Making sure all pay the toll,

Spitting mindless tongues of flame,

Not caring who will get the blame.

Hurting loved ones, burning friends,

Feeling spiteful till it ends,

The Dragon skulks back to it's lair,

Till the angers' too much to bear,

Then Dragon rises and stands up tall,

Making others slip and fall.

Dragon 2

He loves it when you shout and scream,

When we're angry, spiteful, mean,

When you grow weary, weak and old,

Dragon will grow strong and bold,

He'll make you bitter, make you hate,

Till the day you meet your fate.

Dear children, if you think or say,

Angry things, he's here to stay,

He relishes the pain he gives,

And all the time he's let to live,

Dragon wants to fill you whole,

He wants to claim your heart and soul.

 Dragon 3

Corrupt your body, fill your mind,

With his defiled Dragon hide,

Taint your trust, fowl you ears,

Whispers of deceit and fears,

Eat your thoughts, consume your eyes,

With anger, mayhem, envy, lies.

So fight the Dragon, tooth and nail,

You just cannot afford to fail,

Control your temper, hold your tongue,

Do this now, while your still young,

Love you neighbor, and come what may,

Keep the beast, Dragon, away.


 Dragon 4

"Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles."

Proverbs 21:23

Gut-Wrenching...

"No parent should have to bury their child."

King Theoden, Lord Of The Rings; The Two Towers.

     Evil. That's the only thing I could think when I heard about the Connecticut school shooting. 20 children and 6 adults. Dead. A senseless crime against humanity. Why? Because it's Evil. Evil doesn't make sense. Evil just does the complete opposite of Good...just because. It's gut-wrenching.
     I'm not going to try and explain what was the reason for the heinous crime or try to imagine God's plan in all of this. But I wanted to discuss something that might help shed some light on how Christians should react to situations like this. In other words, I am going to rant for a little.
     I felt something new this week. Well, okay, this is the second time I've had this feeling. The first time was when I heard about the Batman Massacre earlier this year. I'm ashamed of it, but I know I must overcome this Demon instead of trying to side step around it. You might have felt it too, but you want to ignore it.
     'True Christians should never think like that!' you might think. I know I thought that for a while.
I am a murderer. I've hated these people to the point of wishing I could end their sorry lives. I'm being deadly serious. I hated these people's guts, especially the shooter in Connecticut. How could you ever justify going after children!? I was so angry. The tears I cried were from hate and anger, not sadness.
     But even in the midst of my inner turmoil, God's hand continued to stay on my shoulder. He doesn't blame me for these thoughts, but he does want me to turn away from them. My hate is gone, but I still cannot forgive them. Not yet. I know I should and I probably will, but for now, I cannot. Even though I do not hate them, bitterness still remains and my sympathy for the families who have lost so much reminds me of the Evil these men have done.
    
    
     Then I remember; how much harder is it for these families you have lost their little ones and mothers...and so close to Christmas?

 

 

    
     Oh God, help us to forgive. Give us the strength to carry on despite the world's efforts to pull us down in the mud and filth. It hurts. It hurts so much. The pain in my heart. The anger is gone and is replaced with bewilderment, confusion and a heavy heart. How much more do these parents hurt? How much more do these children and fathers hurt? Why God!? Why?
    
     Teach us to forgive. I think, for the most part, we have forgotten how to do that. To ignore the pain these men have inflicted upon us, to remember that we are just as guilty in your eyes as these murderers and that all deserve grace and mercy. God, stand with us. Keep us strong. Help us to praise you in the storm. We don't have to thank you, but help us to remember who you are, that you are God, and that you will never abandon you.

"For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you" Isaiah 41:13

Springs Rescue Mission

"If there be among you a poor man of one of thy brethren within any of thy gates in thy land which the LORD thy God giveth thee, thou shalt not harden thine heart, nor shut thine hand from thy poor brother: But thou shalt open thine hand wide unto him, and shalt surely lend him sufficient for his need, in that which he wanteth."    

Deuteronomy 15:7-8

     Last year, I volunteered to hold a clothing drive for the Springs Rescue Mission. SRM is a ministry located in Colorado Springs that provides food, some clothes and certain classes for homeless people. My drive wasn't that big and I only got a couple of clothes, but I was excited to be able to help out again in the winter when they asked. Earlier this month, they asked me again if I could have one. I've been really busy with college and work (especially work) that I had to say no. Holding a drive is a big responsibility and I didn't think I would be able to do it again. However, I did tell them I would tell everyone I met about their need. They are looking for a TON of stuff, mostly fall clothing and non-perishable foods. Here is the link for a full list of stuff needed: http://www.mysrm.org/neighbors-act. My church is a huge supporter of SRM and can vouch for it's integrity.
     Now, I'm not going to try and make you feel bad if you don't give, but anything you can do is greatly appreciated, even if it's just praying. Do not forget those who are in need or the ones who help them.