"Oh, really?"

     As I stood in the Drive-thru of McDonalds, I tried to count the many times I had seen this guy come through. I couldn't even remember, but I had the strange suspicion that he was "stalking" me. He looked about my age, and he seemed nice, but can you really base your judgement on how many times they've come through your drive-thru window?
     Anyway, he came through again that day, and I was just as chipper as I usually am. After handing him the food, the guy turned to me, holding his receipt.
     "Uh, this receipt is missing a number," he said.
Huh? Number? What was he talking about?
     "I'm sorry," I responded, confused, " It's missing a number?"
He smiled big, pushing the receipt toward me.
     "Yours."
Hook,
Line,
Sinker.
     I had fallen for the corniest pick-up line in the book. *face palm* I felt like Homer Simpson,
"DOH!"

     I'm a skeptic, a non-believer in the phenomena "love at first sight". I don't believe in it and I think it's a bunch of hooey. (more on that later) So, this is an imaginary conversation with my "stalker" (or anyone really) on love and what it is. Note: This can be viewed from either a boy talking to a girl, or vice-versa.

"Oh, really?"
You say you'll love me and stand by my side,
You say you'll be with me till the end of all time,
You'll hold my hand tight through sickness and death,
You'll be there with me as I breathe my last breath.

Oh, really?

Love is not glamorous, it's not always fun,
There are going to be times when we just feel like we're done,
We'll want to throw in the towel, walk out on the game,
Vowing to never again utter your name.

Will you still love me when I feel like a grouch,
When I grumble and mumble and fumble and slouch,
When I think I know better (which I usually do)
From mechanics to bibles, from laundry to flu,
When I turn my head in the other direction,
Refusing to give you any kind of attention,
When I decide to stop talking and just raise my brow,
I'll give the impression, "I know more than thou."

Will you still love me when my tummy gets flabby,
When my face starts to wrinkle and look kind of shabby,
When my hairline recedes and I look like Bruce Willis,
And my skin gets rough and tough like a large Gavialis, (large Indian crocodile with a long snout)
My small, slender ankles might bloat up with Gout,
I'll not always be skinny, I could become stout,
I might grow addicted to Double-stuff cookies,
I'd stay home from church to eat and play hooky,

Will you still love me when we run out of stuff,
We might live on the streets, we won't have enough,
We'll run out of greenbacks or we could just be in debt,
Maybe I lost all of it in a bet,
It will be quite hard to provide for just two,
I don't want you to leave me, to tell me adieu,
We'd work through it together, we'd get it set right,
Money would never again be our plight.

Will you still love me when I make bad decisions,
When reality differs from what I'd envision,
It just doesn't work out, it just goes "kaboom",
The house will be filled with my despair and my gloom,
I will make mistakes, I know I'll mess up,
I'll just say stupid things, I just won't shut up,
I'll grow angry and yell, saying things that I shouldn't,
Telling you things that I normally wouldn't.


Will you still love me when we find out I'm dying,
You said you that you would, unless you were lying,
When we find that there never was ever a cure,
It will be a hardship we shall have to endure,
I'll grow weaker and colder as death will draw close,
It may be quite ugly, a lot more than most,
I could lose my mind, decide that I hate you,
I could never have met you, I'll be someone new.

Then it shall be upon me,
It will come by surprise,
Will you be with me then?
Will I hear your goodbyes?

Will you love me through sickness, love me through health,
Love me through poverty, love me through wealth,
Love me through all of the good times and bad,
Love me through happiness, love me through sad,
To have and to hold, to love and to honor,
'cause if you don't, my dad will make you a goner.

You say you'll love me all the days of my life,
You say you can't live without me as your wife,
You say you'll love me forever and ever,
To have me, you'd undertake any endeavor.

Oh, really?