Dragon

When anger rises, so do words,

They take flight like frightened birds,

The air goes hot and fire burns,

Something snaps and then you learn,

Inside every man and child,

Lurks a beast, dark and defiled.

 Dragon 1


Dragons never left our earth,

Each time we hate, our hearts give birth,

To scaly, rotten dragon beasts,

Who eat friendships for their feasts,

They sever families, destroy homes,

Cast out men to the unknown.

Spewing fireballs of wrath,

Glaring at each smile and laugh,

Roaring at each terrified soul,

Making sure all pay the toll,

Spitting mindless tongues of flame,

Not caring who will get the blame.

Hurting loved ones, burning friends,

Feeling spiteful till it ends,

The Dragon skulks back to it's lair,

Till the angers' too much to bear,

Then Dragon rises and stands up tall,

Making others slip and fall.

Dragon 2

He loves it when you shout and scream,

When we're angry, spiteful, mean,

When you grow weary, weak and old,

Dragon will grow strong and bold,

He'll make you bitter, make you hate,

Till the day you meet your fate.

Dear children, if you think or say,

Angry things, he's here to stay,

He relishes the pain he gives,

And all the time he's let to live,

Dragon wants to fill you whole,

He wants to claim your heart and soul.

 Dragon 3

Corrupt your body, fill your mind,

With his defiled Dragon hide,

Taint your trust, fowl you ears,

Whispers of deceit and fears,

Eat your thoughts, consume your eyes,

With anger, mayhem, envy, lies.

So fight the Dragon, tooth and nail,

You just cannot afford to fail,

Control your temper, hold your tongue,

Do this now, while your still young,

Love you neighbor, and come what may,

Keep the beast, Dragon, away.


 Dragon 4

"Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles."

Proverbs 21:23

Gut-Wrenching...

"No parent should have to bury their child."

King Theoden, Lord Of The Rings; The Two Towers.

     Evil. That's the only thing I could think when I heard about the Connecticut school shooting. 20 children and 6 adults. Dead. A senseless crime against humanity. Why? Because it's Evil. Evil doesn't make sense. Evil just does the complete opposite of Good...just because. It's gut-wrenching.
     I'm not going to try and explain what was the reason for the heinous crime or try to imagine God's plan in all of this. But I wanted to discuss something that might help shed some light on how Christians should react to situations like this. In other words, I am going to rant for a little.
     I felt something new this week. Well, okay, this is the second time I've had this feeling. The first time was when I heard about the Batman Massacre earlier this year. I'm ashamed of it, but I know I must overcome this Demon instead of trying to side step around it. You might have felt it too, but you want to ignore it.
     'True Christians should never think like that!' you might think. I know I thought that for a while.
I am a murderer. I've hated these people to the point of wishing I could end their sorry lives. I'm being deadly serious. I hated these people's guts, especially the shooter in Connecticut. How could you ever justify going after children!? I was so angry. The tears I cried were from hate and anger, not sadness.
     But even in the midst of my inner turmoil, God's hand continued to stay on my shoulder. He doesn't blame me for these thoughts, but he does want me to turn away from them. My hate is gone, but I still cannot forgive them. Not yet. I know I should and I probably will, but for now, I cannot. Even though I do not hate them, bitterness still remains and my sympathy for the families who have lost so much reminds me of the Evil these men have done.
    
    
     Then I remember; how much harder is it for these families you have lost their little ones and mothers...and so close to Christmas?

 

 

    
     Oh God, help us to forgive. Give us the strength to carry on despite the world's efforts to pull us down in the mud and filth. It hurts. It hurts so much. The pain in my heart. The anger is gone and is replaced with bewilderment, confusion and a heavy heart. How much more do these parents hurt? How much more do these children and fathers hurt? Why God!? Why?
    
     Teach us to forgive. I think, for the most part, we have forgotten how to do that. To ignore the pain these men have inflicted upon us, to remember that we are just as guilty in your eyes as these murderers and that all deserve grace and mercy. God, stand with us. Keep us strong. Help us to praise you in the storm. We don't have to thank you, but help us to remember who you are, that you are God, and that you will never abandon you.

"For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you" Isaiah 41:13

Springs Rescue Mission

"If there be among you a poor man of one of thy brethren within any of thy gates in thy land which the LORD thy God giveth thee, thou shalt not harden thine heart, nor shut thine hand from thy poor brother: But thou shalt open thine hand wide unto him, and shalt surely lend him sufficient for his need, in that which he wanteth."    

Deuteronomy 15:7-8

     Last year, I volunteered to hold a clothing drive for the Springs Rescue Mission. SRM is a ministry located in Colorado Springs that provides food, some clothes and certain classes for homeless people. My drive wasn't that big and I only got a couple of clothes, but I was excited to be able to help out again in the winter when they asked. Earlier this month, they asked me again if I could have one. I've been really busy with college and work (especially work) that I had to say no. Holding a drive is a big responsibility and I didn't think I would be able to do it again. However, I did tell them I would tell everyone I met about their need. They are looking for a TON of stuff, mostly fall clothing and non-perishable foods. Here is the link for a full list of stuff needed: http://www.mysrm.org/neighbors-act. My church is a huge supporter of SRM and can vouch for it's integrity.
     Now, I'm not going to try and make you feel bad if you don't give, but anything you can do is greatly appreciated, even if it's just praying. Do not forget those who are in need or the ones who help them.

Tonight, the stars shine bright.

     I got lost in the night again. I just stopped and got sucked into the sheer beauty and immensity of it. I mean, wow. Wow. I would have stood there all night if I hadn't gotten cold. Have you ever looked at something, something you see all the time, and then you look at it again and it suddenly takes your breath away?
     I mean, think about it. God gave us everything we needed to survive; food, water, an intelligent mind and the ability to put our ideas into action. And then, God decided to give us things we didn't need. He didn't have to. He could have just given us a brain and thrown us into the wild. He didn't have to give us color, or music, or flowers, or trees, or laughter, or beauty...he didn't even need to give us stars. But he did. Why do we even have stars? They don't even have anything to do with how I live my life or what goes on in it...but God gave them to me anyway. Is that amazing, or what?
     Words cannot even describe what I feel. I am just blown away with it.
So go outside tonight. Look up at the stars. Now let it soak in and revel in the fact, God thought of you when he did that. He made them for you. He knew you would enjoy them. So, enjoy.:)

August report card

     Ugh...I did not do well on this at all. I didn't keep up with any of the resolutions except for going outside more, laundry and my drawing...:( No excuses; I failed, that's that. I'll post my picture soon, because, at the moment, I am on a break at my work. Let me explain:
     Last month, I had sent in an application for McDonalds (and a lot of other places) but it was mainly McDonalds that I wanted to work at. So, after a couple weeks, I came in and asked if my application had been looked at yet. (really gutsy, I've been told) She had a mini interview with me, then one more. I was scheduled for a third interview, which turned into being hired. I am so happy right now. I've been working three days now (this is my third) and I LOVE IT! It's not to hard, but not too easy, so I don't feel overburdened or anything. I am continually praising the Lord over and over for his many blessings.
      So, I should probably get back to enjoying my break. God Bless you all.

Fwustwation...

I feel so frustrated. 

     Well, not really frustrated (when I'm REALLY frustrated, I say "fwustwated")...confused is more like it. See, ever since I was a little girl, I've wanted to act. I love acting. Telling stories, convincing others of how real you characters are and just the overall atmosphere. However, recently, I've felt the urge to go to Russia and volunteer at the orphanages there. I don't know where in Russia, why Russia, how long, or even if this is really of the Lord. I have no idea what God wants me to do right now. It feels like I'm being sent conflicting messages and I don't know what to do about it.
     Don't you wish God would give you straight answers to our questions, sometimes? It feels like my heads going to explode! I'm wracking my brain for answers, praying like crazy, but I still don't understand any of it. Many a sleepless night was spent staring into the dark, waiting for an answer, a vision, a sign, as to what I am supposed to do. Just sit here and do nothing? I felt tired and confused.
Then, this morning, God sent me a little something. In church this morning, one of the songs we sang was "Be Thou My Vision":

Be Thou my Vision, O Lord of my heart;

Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art.

Thou my best Thought, by day or by night,

Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.

     God is my life. All else fades away when compared to him. He is my vision and I must never lose sight of that, no matter how confused, exasperated or frustrated I am. Nothing else matters but you. Everyday is another day to serve you. In whatever I do, I will honor you.

Thank you God for reminding me you are always there.

Mid-month exposure...

     So, this month has been going very well. I haven't been getting A's all this month, but it is coming along nicely (if I do say so myself)
   
    1) Organize my dresser.
     So far, this has gone well. It's clean, I just need to keep it clean...figures.

    2) Schedule my Humanities CLEP test.
     I have not done this. I completely forgot about it until last week. See, in order to schedule a CLEP test, you have to drive to the college and say, "Excuse me, I would like to schedule a CLEP test," instead of calling and saying, "Excuse me, I would like to schedule a CLEP test." I'm doing well with the studying and I think I can pass. We'll see...😁
 
    3) Write a short story and post it.
     This has actually gone a lot better then I thought. I'm actually almost done with it. I'm finishing up the rough draft, then I'll be able to fine tune it and everything. Hopefully, you guys will like it. I'll probably try and copywriter it, just because I'm paranoid in that type of way.;P
 
     4) Cardio and yoga.
     This has actually NOT gone a lot better then I thought. It's actually a whole lot WORSE. I've hardly done any yoga or running. I did the first week, but then....yeah....
 
     5) Contain the laundry room.
     When you call on your mom, a lot of things are possible.:) It's getting there.

     6) Get outside more.
     Yep. And really enjoying it, too. Been hanging out laundry, playing basketball, jumping on the trampoline and chasing cows through barb wire fencing...ah, I love the country.
   
      7) Draw more.
      I DID IT! I DREW A PICTURE! I'll post it at the end of the month, along with any others I might have completed by then.


     So, yeah, it has been a good month so far. I'm happy about it, and hopefully, that will motivate me until the end of the month.