Monday, August 20, 2012

Fwustwation...


I feel so frustrated. 
     Well, not really frustrated (when I'm REALLY frustrated, I say "fwustwated")...confused is more like it. See, ever since I was a little girl, I've wanted to act. I love acting. Telling stories, convincing others of how real you characters are and just the overall atmosphere. However, recently, I've felt the urge to go to Russia and volunteer at the orphanages there. I don't know where in Russia, why Russia, how long, or even if this is really of the Lord. I have no idea what God wants me to do right now. It feels like I'm being sent conflicting messages and I don't know what to do about it.
     Don't you wish God would give you straight answers to our questions, sometimes? It feels like my heads going to explode! I'm wracking my brain for answers, praying like crazy, but I still don't understand any of it. Many a sleepless night was spent staring into the dark, waiting for an answer, a vision, a sign, as to what I am supposed to do. Just sit here and do nothing? I felt tired and confused.
Then, this morning, God sent me a little something. In church this morning, one of the songs we sang was "Be Thou My Vision":

Be Thou my Vision, O Lord of my heart;
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art.
Thou my best Thought, by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.

     God is my life. All else fades away when compared to him. He is my vision and I must never lose sight of that, no matter how confused, exasperated or frustrated I am. Nothing else matters but you. Everyday is another day to serve you. In whatever I do, I will honor you.

Thank you God for reminding me you are always there.

Monday, August 13, 2012

Mid-month exposure...

     So, this month has been going very well. I haven't been getting A's all this month, but it is coming along nicely (if I do say so myself)
   
    1) Organize my dresser.
     So far, this has gone well. It's clean, I just need to keep it clean...figures.

    2) Schedule my Humanities CLEP test.
     I have not done this. I completely forgot about it until last week. See, in order to schedule a CLEP test, you have to drive to the college and say, "Excuse me, I would like to schedule a CLEP test," instead of calling and saying, "Excuse me, I would like to schedule a CLEP test." I'm doing well with the studying and I think I can pass. We'll see...😁
 
    3) Write a short story and post it.
     This has actually gone a lot better then I thought. I'm actually almost done with it. I'm finishing up the rough draft, then I'll be able to fine tune it and everything. Hopefully, you guys will like it. I'll probably try and copywriter it, just because I'm paranoid in that type of way.;P
 
     4) Cardio and yoga.
     This has actually NOT gone a lot better then I thought. It's actually a whole lot WORSE. I've hardly done any yoga or running. I did the first week, but then....yeah....
 
     5) Contain the laundry room.
     When you call on your mom, a lot of things are possible.:) It's getting there.

     6) Get outside more.
     Yep. And really enjoying it, too. Been hanging out laundry, playing basketball, jumping on the trampoline and chasing cows through barb wire fencing...ah, I love the country.
   
      7) Draw more.
      I DID IT! I DREW A PICTURE! I'll post it at the end of the month, along with any others I might have completed by then.


     So, yeah, it has been a good month so far. I'm happy about it, and hopefully, that will motivate me until the end of the month.

Thursday, August 9, 2012

The art of storytelling

     For a while, I used to want to be a bard. I was inspired by this wonderful singer. I had been writing an Epic poem (that is what the really long story poems are called) and I was determined to learn to play the guitar. I kind of still want to, but more of a hobby and something to do for entertainment purposes;
     "Wow, this party is so lame. I wish we had some source of entertainment."
     Then I jump up and pull a guitar out of my purse, singing, "Dovahkiin, Dovahkiin, naal ok zin los vahriin." (sorry, really big nerd moment there)


    Anyway, I still have the poem somewhere, gathering dust and being eaten by moths or something. I have a ton of stories like that. I started them, then just sort of gave them up.
     "If I don't have a point to make, why bother."
     I mean, I had read so many books and seen so many movies that really didn't seem to have a point. It was aimless and pointless, confusing and not entertaining. So I came to the conclusion, if a story doesn't have a point, don't do it. In order for a story to be highly successful, it MUST have a point. Period. No questions asked. However, I was still unsure about my theory, so I began looking at my favorite books and movies to figure things out.

     Have you ever read 'Beowulf'? It is an Epic poem about a man who saves a town from two monsters; Grendel and his mother, and in doing so, becomes a hero. I loved the character; a man willing to risk everything for people he hardly knows. It is one of my favorite books, and it has no point.


     The Hobbit is my second favorite book, (as you can probably guess, I am really excited about the movie. Why it's split into three parts though, still remains a mystery to me) and it has no point. I realized that most books that I have read and enjoyed are the ones without a point. Many of my favorite movies are ones that lack a purpose. But what was the difference? What was the difference between these seemingly pointless stories and the others?
     The answer came to me while I was reading an article from Empire.com. They had an interview with Wally Pfister, director Christopher Nolan's cinematographer. He was telling everyone about his work and the movies he had done with Christopher Nolan. The topics of politics came up, and he said,

"Chris rarely takes any kind of political position, so as with every single film he’s ever made, I think there’s a deliberate ambiguity there about what he might be saying. Perhaps he IS really just telling a story without taking any position or political point of view. I always get a kick out of that because people are always trying to find messages. They don’t exist! Not in that way. He loves creating ambiguity for the audience and leaving them to try to decide what the answer is. If you ask him, he’ll just shrug and smile and leave it up to you!"

     The best stories are the ones that let you decide what the message is. They let you decide what you want to take away from it rather then what the storyteller tries to push into your head. (I'm talking about fiction right now, which of course does not include non-fiction and the Bible.) If you think about it, a lot of our favorite stories are ones that let the audience decide the point.
     The difference between "Christopher Nolan" message stories and other pointless stories is that the others really have no point, the author just wrote something. "Christopher Nolan" stories have only one point; tell a story people will enjoy. That's what has been lost in today's world.
     Stories should not be written because the author wanted to write something for themselves, or to get money, or to just become famous. Stories unite and entertain. That's what it was meant for. It's what a child yearns for before bed and why people go to see movies. They can inspire and motivate. They can make us laugh and cry. They are stories and they were made for us.

"If stories come to you, care for them. And learn to give them away where they are needed. Sometimes a person needs a story more than food to stay alive."
—Barry Lopez, in Crow and Weasel

Anyone care for another go at "Dovakhin"?

Saturday, August 4, 2012

Bea Bea update

     Bea Bea was able to come home yesterday. She had some screws and wires attached to her leg to hold her elbow in place. Apparently, she had snapped her elbow bone off, and she needs to be on a leash for 12 weeks! If she runs or jumps, she could loosen the screws and wires and they would have to redo surgery.
     So, for 12 weeks, she is basically bed-ridden and she is driving me crazy with her whining. Poor Bea Bea.



She wears the cone of shame...

Thursday, August 2, 2012

August Resolutions.

     So, I'm subscribed to to this blog called "She Learns as She Goes" (shelearnsasshegoes.com) and she challenged us to give ourselves monthly resolutions. So, here are my resolutions and hopefully, I'll be able to pull them off.

    1) Organize my dresser.


    I'm a major pack rat and I try very hard to keep that under control. I am organizing everything. Everything has a special box or space that it goes in EVERY SINGLE TIME I USE IT!!! However, my dresser has kind of just fallen into a dilapidated mess and it needs a little TLC ASAP.

     2) Schedule my humanities CLEP for this month.


     Ugh...CLEP tests... Enough said.

     3) Write a short story and post it.
     I want to be a writer, of books and screenplays. However, I fail when it comes to writing deadlines. Nano-Wrimo, Script Frenzy, whatever, they never get done. I have been trying to get on the ball and have been writing a ton lately, but I need something to actually show. So, I've had this idea in my head for a while and I think it would do well as a short story. Hence, this resolution, write a short story and post it.

     4) Cardio and yoga.
     Okay, so this one is a little difficult finding time to do this. I mean, having a job that confines you to the house, studying for CLEP tests, laundry...it's hard to find time to just run off by myself. So, I am going to try to go running every Sunday afternoon and yoga as much as possible, preferably everyday at night.

     5) Contain the laundry room!!!


     This is by far the worst. I have been horrible lately when it comes to the laundry room. Cleaning clothes, sweeping the floor, organizing the laundry, making sure it smells fresh...I think one of the reasons for this is because my mom wants me to hang up the laundry outside. I hate hanging up laundry. I don't know why, but I just do. That actually leads me to my next resolution.

     6) Get outside more.



     I don't get outside enough. I just don't. So hopefully, with running and hanging out laundry, I'll see the sun more and not turn into a vampire. I need the vitamin D...and the tan;)

     7) Draw more
     I really enjoy drawing (mostly sketching) but my endurance level is really low. So yesterday, I resolved to draw one picture this month. I'm drawing the actor Benedict Cumberbatch and so far I've done his eyes and nose. Hopefully, it will look like him.

     So, that's it. I don't know if this is too ambitious, or if it's not enough. Well see how I do and I will give you a report of how I did at the end of the month!